military

(no subject)

everyone's pairing off. and again...i'm left out in the cold, alone.

I'm not....well yah i'm complaining about it. I mean, does anyone see how much it hurts to see others having someone to cuddle aginst, tease, play with, kiss?
....I've never gotten to experence that and i'm starting to think i never will. it really makes me feel like crap when i'm in a room full of people and everyone has someone, and i'm left alone.
...i guess it's a fact of life, i'll always be alone. it's not a fact that i like, but i gotta get used to it. there will always be things in life you don't like but have to get used to.
the pain has become more of a dull ache really. like some old war wound or something, it just acts up when it rains. When it rains it really pours ne? seeing every one together, Happy, content, and then there's me. I'm happy for them, they all deserve some happyness, because everyone has had a tough go. and they all deserve it.
I'm just a spoild brat, jelouse of what i don't have, wanting whatever everyone else has. though this time....my parents can't buy me this....it's not for me. I start to wonder if i'm ever ment to have it. if there really is someone out there for me. It hurts, alot, even though it's an acustom pain.
Having to watch as everyone giggles and smiles and gazes adoringly at each other. and i start to wonder, what's wrong with me? Why am i so....undesired? why do i get passed over in favore of someone else....
military

(no subject)

ara!

it's been a while since i posted to this group. well...

I've been invited to be a fifth wheel again. on sunday. Mike has asked me to go with him, his friend and his friend matt to the movies on sunday. he wants me to invite Ryan and Jared. *sigh* Fifth wheel....will i ever not be one? it kinda sucks....
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